#4 - Weeks don't get much tougher than this...

I've had a horrible week - thanks to a stupid illness. 

It should have been a great week. Last Monday evening we had a training session for Swadlincote junior parkrun (must always remember it's in lower case!), but towards the end of the evening I started feeling as rough as hell; Tuesday was one of those days where I should have called into work sick. With the amount of time I had last year though, I knew I had to soldier on and drag myself in. 

It wasn't great, but somehow I made it through the day. There was no chance of me doing my fourth consecutive Hatton Darts run; I actually pulled out that morning. It's ironic really, as that was the first one I was meant to be doing as an officially joined member!

I was completely knocked off my feet, and rested until Saturday - which of course is parkrun day. I have to admit I wasn't looking forward to it. When I saw a friend being similarly conflicted on Facebook a quick offer of a lift meant both of us didn't have a choice!

After last week's tail run I was determined to see just how far behind I was. With the Burton 10k only two weeks away, I have to admit I have very little confidence in myself at the moment. My head is very messed up, not to the same level as last year but but where it was in, say, May. 

It started badly, and I was boxed in behind slower runners. I may not be the fastest, but I was faster than that and I lost a lot of time. Still being competitive, I made the mistake of trying to make the time back up. I finished the first mile dead on 11 minutes. My PB for parkrun's first mile is 10 minutes, so actually quite good with what I'd lost. 

Or so you'd think. I sailed past an old school friend somewhere around that mile point. Within a quarter of a mile though, I was spent. I'd done too much, too soon. That school friend soon caught me back up, and said I should run with her group. There was no chance at that point though!

I steeled myself for the course's challenge - "Cheeky Hill". The week before last this was where I'd stopped running, but I was determined that this time, since I'd already stopped, I start this time. I made it :)

The rest of the run was fairly non-descript. I was playing back and forth with a couple of young girls who were also run-walking and another lady who I didn't see walk. I actually managed to pull away from the girls going up the straight incline leading back up what's the first mile when you're coming out. So imagine my surprise, on the sprint to the finish where I upped my pace by about 1.5mph, when one of them came zooming past me! If she had that much energy left she should have run quicker earlier! The other girl seriously had nice legs though, I must say!

So that was the week's exercise, all in one. I'm still in a terrible mindset; as I write this on Tuesday, I've pulled out of Hatton again - my confidence is at an all time low. I've no idea how I'm going to go forward. Frankly, I'm s****ing myself.

Weight This Week:  231.6lbs

Weight Last Week: 229.6lbs

Total Lost: 148.4lbs

Distance Ran: 3.1 miles

Distance Biked: 0 miles

#3 - running, riding and yet more weight gain

I'm incredibly annoyed. I'd done so well lately. I hadn't "got back on it", as such, but I had started to lose a little weight and my head was starting to enjoy it again. 

Then this weekend I fell off the wagon spectacularly.  Emma mentioned she was going back on the diet today (Monday) and was having a weekend blowout. So I joined her and let myself go again.  

Big mistake, as I'm now back to 230lbs. I've eaten really stupidly - 7 dairy milks, two Quorn sausage rolls, two chippy teas, McDonald's lunch, sausage sandwiches, big bag of salt and vinegar chip sticks, two custard doughnuts... the list goes on. Why do I do these things? I didn't have to join her but here I am. 

It's undone what was some good work last week - I got back on my bike. For the last couple of months it was off the road with a puncture I couldn't be bothered to fix. Last Sunday, I finally did (finding a nasty little thorn in the tyre that clearly caused it) and went for a ride on the Monday after work, recceing the Burton 10k route, along with a little preview of the run I'd be doing the next night with Hatton Darts. 

The 10k is hilly - VERY hilly. For those that know Burton, you go from Shobnall, over the 38 to the Hospital, down the road in front of the hospital and then start to climb all the way up to Anslow - then come back down Henhurst Hill. How I'm going to run it I don't know, but I'm now officially "Tail Runner" so I'll definitely be at the back - whether on merit or not. I planned to try to run it yesterday, but mental apathy creating an "injury" saw paid to that. It may have been a good idea though, seeing how bad the weather was - we lost half the tree outside our flat!

At the end of the bike ride, which was about 12 miles long in total, I felt great. Really great. There's something about cycling I don't get from running. I think it comes with the ability to "do" it. When I run, even alone, I know I'm god awful. But on the bike I know I'm not far off the fastest (casuals) and it's that whole mental thing. 

Tuesday saw that Darts run. I did feel a lot better about it, and was a lot faster than recent weeks - although I'm sure a lot of that could be put down to it being on road this week. I'm now officially a paid-up member, anyway, and took part in the first monthly meeting. I'm really pleased to be part of a club anyway, hopefully it'll see me continue to improve. 

On Wednesday I biked to work, and it didn't feel as good as Monday. I've done the commute route so often I knew where I was loosing time, and ended up a good seven minutes or so behind my usual time.  Biking home though was better, and set my fourth fastest time ever. Which was nice. 

The next day I biked to work again, and knocked five minutes off Wednesday's time - better weather being a factor, which made me feel better about Wednesday. An issue at work saw me driving north unexpectedly during the day, so didn't bike home until Friday - I went a longer, hillier route. I struggled a bit on one of the steeper hills, but generally it felt good and I had a decent average speed. 

Saturday saw me running again, of a sort. As a bit of a practice for the 10k, I was tail runner at park run. The last guy was a park run regular who was warming down, and we walked it all. So I've got a nice new "worst" time at just over an hour! But it's good to volunteer. 

So this week I need to sort myself out. I'm not sure how much I'll be doing - I'm doing training tonight for the junior park run over in Rolleston, and I haven't quite decided if I'm biking there or not. A 10pm finish puts me off if I'm honest. Tomorrow is another Darts night, over in Church Broughton - where I've never so much as set foot before!  Since Wednesday is cinema night I can't see me biking before Thursday. I'm definitely going to be trying to do park run properly this week though,- and maybe try that 10k this Sunday. Hopefully I can lose some of this weight again by then...

Weight This Week:  229.6lbs

Weight Last Week: 227.2lbs

Total Lost: 148.4lbs

Distance Ran: 8.53 miles

Distance Biked: 59.95 miles

#2 A bit of a round-up

Running is hard.  We all know that.  It’s far easier to just sit on a couch, munch away on a bag of crisps (or seven) and watch TV.  When I finally took up regular road running last New Year’s Eve, I certainly never expected it to be easy.  But just over a week ago I had what was both my favourite and least favourite running experience I’ve had so far.

Readers of the last blog will know that I’m in the process of joining a local running club, Hatton Darts.  Well, I finally had the opportunity to go out with them for a run in Etwall.  The problem was, aside from a 4 mile run last Monday and the 10k Mud Run on Saturday I haven’t actually been out on a run since the middle of June, the day after the half marathon.

It showed.  My cardio is absolutely nowhere at the moment – as well as not running, both my bikes have been off the road too – so couple that with the weight I've put on and I'm sure you can guess I'm not myself!

But despite that, everyone I met was incredibly welcoming, both on the night and afterwards. Sadly though, I have to admit my head still isn't completely right after last years' troubles being so poor affected me far more than it should have. 

From being back on plan, pretty much, with my eating I retreated within myself. I wanted to run, to fix my bike... but I couldn't. I just ate more. Come the following Saturday and park run I was nowhere to be seen - I decided the night before I'd be better off just having a lie in, as we were going to the in-laws later that morning and it was far easier!

This last Tuesday though I was back with the Darts again, this time in Barton.  It was another hard, off-road run but I definitely felt better for it. The average speed was only marginally better, but there were a few more styles to get over and it was a bit hillier. Going back to the pub with everyone again definitely felt right, and I'm looking forward to my future with the club - things can only get better!

This morning, as I type this on the afternoon of Saturday the 2nd August, I did make it to park run though - thankfully. 

It really did bring home just what I've lost in these last couple of months. My GPS trace suggests I was basically three minutes per mile off my fastest speed, but that doesn't really tell the story. 

If I'm honest, I was knackered after 0.15 miles and felt like walking. I kept going though, willing myself to the gate that's at the 1 mile point. Once I got through that, I pushed myself to the hill - and got there :)

I knew pushing myself up the hill was a step too far so I walked it, and decided I'd walk to the canal and run after it. 

I nearly did, too. Half way to the canal I spotted the photographer, Chris. Now, I don't really want any pics of me walking so I ran for him - and started walking again straight afterwards! Looking back, I should have kept going but I was in that mindset. 

As I got alongside the canal I steeled myself up to go for it again - did a couple of steps and heard a shout of my name - it was a friend I'd met through park run (and, technically, Spotted: Burton but I don't think we're allowed to be positive about that!) - so I stopped in my tracks, and decided to run with her. I much prefer the company when it's not going well!

I'd like to think we willed each other onto the end, and I typically finished with my worst "running" time other than at the hamstring-curtailed Braunstone park run a month ago. It also helped having one of the Darts, who I'd seen before the start, coming back and running with us to the end. We even did a "sprint" finish!

It's getting better. I drove home wishing I was still running, and I even did a bit of running to the barcoders from the car after I'd stopped to get something.

I want to run. I need to run. As I look towards the marathon in three months, I know it's going to be hard. Some are suggesting it's impossible - but I'm going to keep going for it, keep trying to get my head back to where it was. I know I can do it. I promise I will do it.

SHAMELESS PLUG: You can help me, too. I can be sponsored for the marathon on www.justgiving.com/daniel-marathon - I'm raising money for Diabetes UK, and very penny you donate will both go to them and give me extra incentive to get back into it. I won't let you down.