#4 - Weeks don't get much tougher than this...

I've had a horrible week - thanks to a stupid illness. 

It should have been a great week. Last Monday evening we had a training session for Swadlincote junior parkrun (must always remember it's in lower case!), but towards the end of the evening I started feeling as rough as hell; Tuesday was one of those days where I should have called into work sick. With the amount of time I had last year though, I knew I had to soldier on and drag myself in. 

It wasn't great, but somehow I made it through the day. There was no chance of me doing my fourth consecutive Hatton Darts run; I actually pulled out that morning. It's ironic really, as that was the first one I was meant to be doing as an officially joined member!

I was completely knocked off my feet, and rested until Saturday - which of course is parkrun day. I have to admit I wasn't looking forward to it. When I saw a friend being similarly conflicted on Facebook a quick offer of a lift meant both of us didn't have a choice!

After last week's tail run I was determined to see just how far behind I was. With the Burton 10k only two weeks away, I have to admit I have very little confidence in myself at the moment. My head is very messed up, not to the same level as last year but but where it was in, say, May. 

It started badly, and I was boxed in behind slower runners. I may not be the fastest, but I was faster than that and I lost a lot of time. Still being competitive, I made the mistake of trying to make the time back up. I finished the first mile dead on 11 minutes. My PB for parkrun's first mile is 10 minutes, so actually quite good with what I'd lost. 

Or so you'd think. I sailed past an old school friend somewhere around that mile point. Within a quarter of a mile though, I was spent. I'd done too much, too soon. That school friend soon caught me back up, and said I should run with her group. There was no chance at that point though!

I steeled myself for the course's challenge - "Cheeky Hill". The week before last this was where I'd stopped running, but I was determined that this time, since I'd already stopped, I start this time. I made it :)

The rest of the run was fairly non-descript. I was playing back and forth with a couple of young girls who were also run-walking and another lady who I didn't see walk. I actually managed to pull away from the girls going up the straight incline leading back up what's the first mile when you're coming out. So imagine my surprise, on the sprint to the finish where I upped my pace by about 1.5mph, when one of them came zooming past me! If she had that much energy left she should have run quicker earlier! The other girl seriously had nice legs though, I must say!

So that was the week's exercise, all in one. I'm still in a terrible mindset; as I write this on Tuesday, I've pulled out of Hatton again - my confidence is at an all time low. I've no idea how I'm going to go forward. Frankly, I'm s****ing myself.

Weight This Week:  231.6lbs

Weight Last Week: 229.6lbs

Total Lost: 148.4lbs

Distance Ran: 3.1 miles

Distance Biked: 0 miles

#3 - running, riding and yet more weight gain

I'm incredibly annoyed. I'd done so well lately. I hadn't "got back on it", as such, but I had started to lose a little weight and my head was starting to enjoy it again. 

Then this weekend I fell off the wagon spectacularly.  Emma mentioned she was going back on the diet today (Monday) and was having a weekend blowout. So I joined her and let myself go again.  

Big mistake, as I'm now back to 230lbs. I've eaten really stupidly - 7 dairy milks, two Quorn sausage rolls, two chippy teas, McDonald's lunch, sausage sandwiches, big bag of salt and vinegar chip sticks, two custard doughnuts... the list goes on. Why do I do these things? I didn't have to join her but here I am. 

It's undone what was some good work last week - I got back on my bike. For the last couple of months it was off the road with a puncture I couldn't be bothered to fix. Last Sunday, I finally did (finding a nasty little thorn in the tyre that clearly caused it) and went for a ride on the Monday after work, recceing the Burton 10k route, along with a little preview of the run I'd be doing the next night with Hatton Darts. 

The 10k is hilly - VERY hilly. For those that know Burton, you go from Shobnall, over the 38 to the Hospital, down the road in front of the hospital and then start to climb all the way up to Anslow - then come back down Henhurst Hill. How I'm going to run it I don't know, but I'm now officially "Tail Runner" so I'll definitely be at the back - whether on merit or not. I planned to try to run it yesterday, but mental apathy creating an "injury" saw paid to that. It may have been a good idea though, seeing how bad the weather was - we lost half the tree outside our flat!

At the end of the bike ride, which was about 12 miles long in total, I felt great. Really great. There's something about cycling I don't get from running. I think it comes with the ability to "do" it. When I run, even alone, I know I'm god awful. But on the bike I know I'm not far off the fastest (casuals) and it's that whole mental thing. 

Tuesday saw that Darts run. I did feel a lot better about it, and was a lot faster than recent weeks - although I'm sure a lot of that could be put down to it being on road this week. I'm now officially a paid-up member, anyway, and took part in the first monthly meeting. I'm really pleased to be part of a club anyway, hopefully it'll see me continue to improve. 

On Wednesday I biked to work, and it didn't feel as good as Monday. I've done the commute route so often I knew where I was loosing time, and ended up a good seven minutes or so behind my usual time.  Biking home though was better, and set my fourth fastest time ever. Which was nice. 

The next day I biked to work again, and knocked five minutes off Wednesday's time - better weather being a factor, which made me feel better about Wednesday. An issue at work saw me driving north unexpectedly during the day, so didn't bike home until Friday - I went a longer, hillier route. I struggled a bit on one of the steeper hills, but generally it felt good and I had a decent average speed. 

Saturday saw me running again, of a sort. As a bit of a practice for the 10k, I was tail runner at park run. The last guy was a park run regular who was warming down, and we walked it all. So I've got a nice new "worst" time at just over an hour! But it's good to volunteer. 

So this week I need to sort myself out. I'm not sure how much I'll be doing - I'm doing training tonight for the junior park run over in Rolleston, and I haven't quite decided if I'm biking there or not. A 10pm finish puts me off if I'm honest. Tomorrow is another Darts night, over in Church Broughton - where I've never so much as set foot before!  Since Wednesday is cinema night I can't see me biking before Thursday. I'm definitely going to be trying to do park run properly this week though,- and maybe try that 10k this Sunday. Hopefully I can lose some of this weight again by then...

Weight This Week:  229.6lbs

Weight Last Week: 227.2lbs

Total Lost: 148.4lbs

Distance Ran: 8.53 miles

Distance Biked: 59.95 miles

#2 A bit of a round-up

Running is hard.  We all know that.  It’s far easier to just sit on a couch, munch away on a bag of crisps (or seven) and watch TV.  When I finally took up regular road running last New Year’s Eve, I certainly never expected it to be easy.  But just over a week ago I had what was both my favourite and least favourite running experience I’ve had so far.

Readers of the last blog will know that I’m in the process of joining a local running club, Hatton Darts.  Well, I finally had the opportunity to go out with them for a run in Etwall.  The problem was, aside from a 4 mile run last Monday and the 10k Mud Run on Saturday I haven’t actually been out on a run since the middle of June, the day after the half marathon.

It showed.  My cardio is absolutely nowhere at the moment – as well as not running, both my bikes have been off the road too – so couple that with the weight I've put on and I'm sure you can guess I'm not myself!

But despite that, everyone I met was incredibly welcoming, both on the night and afterwards. Sadly though, I have to admit my head still isn't completely right after last years' troubles being so poor affected me far more than it should have. 

From being back on plan, pretty much, with my eating I retreated within myself. I wanted to run, to fix my bike... but I couldn't. I just ate more. Come the following Saturday and park run I was nowhere to be seen - I decided the night before I'd be better off just having a lie in, as we were going to the in-laws later that morning and it was far easier!

This last Tuesday though I was back with the Darts again, this time in Barton.  It was another hard, off-road run but I definitely felt better for it. The average speed was only marginally better, but there were a few more styles to get over and it was a bit hillier. Going back to the pub with everyone again definitely felt right, and I'm looking forward to my future with the club - things can only get better!

This morning, as I type this on the afternoon of Saturday the 2nd August, I did make it to park run though - thankfully. 

It really did bring home just what I've lost in these last couple of months. My GPS trace suggests I was basically three minutes per mile off my fastest speed, but that doesn't really tell the story. 

If I'm honest, I was knackered after 0.15 miles and felt like walking. I kept going though, willing myself to the gate that's at the 1 mile point. Once I got through that, I pushed myself to the hill - and got there :)

I knew pushing myself up the hill was a step too far so I walked it, and decided I'd walk to the canal and run after it. 

I nearly did, too. Half way to the canal I spotted the photographer, Chris. Now, I don't really want any pics of me walking so I ran for him - and started walking again straight afterwards! Looking back, I should have kept going but I was in that mindset. 

As I got alongside the canal I steeled myself up to go for it again - did a couple of steps and heard a shout of my name - it was a friend I'd met through park run (and, technically, Spotted: Burton but I don't think we're allowed to be positive about that!) - so I stopped in my tracks, and decided to run with her. I much prefer the company when it's not going well!

I'd like to think we willed each other onto the end, and I typically finished with my worst "running" time other than at the hamstring-curtailed Braunstone park run a month ago. It also helped having one of the Darts, who I'd seen before the start, coming back and running with us to the end. We even did a "sprint" finish!

It's getting better. I drove home wishing I was still running, and I even did a bit of running to the barcoders from the car after I'd stopped to get something.

I want to run. I need to run. As I look towards the marathon in three months, I know it's going to be hard. Some are suggesting it's impossible - but I'm going to keep going for it, keep trying to get my head back to where it was. I know I can do it. I promise I will do it.

SHAMELESS PLUG: You can help me, too. I can be sponsored for the marathon on www.justgiving.com/daniel-marathon - I'm raising money for Diabetes UK, and very penny you donate will both go to them and give me extra incentive to get back into it. I won't let you down.

Daniel's Running Diary #1 - The Story So Far (abridged) and My Second Shropshire Mud Run

Sunday, 20th July 2014

Not a random fat bloke

Hello there.  I was going to start this with "Dear Diary".  In fact, I did do - but you can't see that.  You see, I've already written most of this blog.  It was a finely crafted thing, paced perfectly with what I'm sure was an appropriate level of humour.  But then I went and closed the window and it seems that Blogger doesn't do autosave.  So now you've got this instead!  It's allowed me to do a format change, anyway!

I started out by telling you that if you know my story through http://blog.runkeeper.com/2177/daniel-a-marathon-journey/ then you needn't worry - I'm keeping the detail of that story in there.  So basically, to the right you can see... well, me.

Same non-random not so fat bloke

Then, Diabetes happened.  Long story short, I lost weight and the picture to the left is me, yesterday.

So, as you can see - I am winning the war.  I may have lost a few battles along the way - as you'll read in detail in the Runkeepr link at the top - but where's the fun on something going the right way all the time?

Anyway, I'm doing the running blog as me now, not me then.  If I'd done it then, it might have been something like this:

"Today I ran THREE steps!!!!!!!  OK, I got out of breath half way through, but that's practically a marathon!"

Not the most scintillating of blogs, eh?  I'm not promising this will be much more entertaining, but at least it will contain actual running. 

OK, maybe jogging.

Or shuffling.  Rapidly.

Anyway, on with the actual blog - I'm just going to assume you've read the Runkeeper blog and know all about me, or not give a damn and have stopped reading.  If it's neither of them, I'm sure you get the gist.  I'll use a future blog to go through some of the other events I've been doing.

Just before that though, a bit of housekeeping.  Today I've entered the Shropshire Mud Run Series Round 4 at Hawkstone Park (it includes caves!) and the Burton 10k - organised by the running club I'm in the process of joining, Hatton Darts.  Looking forward to them!

Not actually Superman

Saturday 19th July 2014 - Shropshire Mud Run Series Round 3: Lilleshall

I really loved the last Mud Run I did - back in April, I took part in Round 2 of this series after the urging of a fellow massive weight-loser and have to say I'm a convert to this style of running.  It's loads of fun!  Last time out, at Bomere Lake, I absolutely bloody loved it as you can see to the right.

So on the same day I entered the next one and I've been eagerly awaiting it ever since - the little matter of a Half Marathon not withstanding.  The fact it was at Lilleshall - a place that's meant a lot to sport over the years - was a bonus.

These last few weeks have been hard.  Last year I suffered from an anxiety state and was put on anti-depressants.  I've been feeling very down again though, but this time it was more to do with a depression of the fact my own head felt so restricted.  I wasn't "me" and I knew it.

I put back on 2 stone.  You won't read that in the Runkeeper blog, as it happened after I wrote it!  At the end of last week though I went and saw the Doctor - and he agreed to take me off the tablets.  It took a few days, but "I" came back.  Last week, I lost half a stone on its own!  I'd been for a run on Monday, I did four very slow miles and ached for a couple of days afterwards!  So it was with a bit of trepidation that I lined up yesterday morning.

The adrenaline set in though and I was there as everyone set off...

I can be seen at around 24 seconds there.

Last time I wore a Superman t-shirt so it was only natural this time to wear The Flash!  Perhaps thinking of The Scarlet Speedster himself, I set off at far too fast a pace really.  Like I said - adrenalin.  Thanks to that, I felt like I could take on the world and pushed on, making the first water hole in what I'm sure would be record time if I was able to use my not-waterproof GPS watch or iPhone to track my speed.

After the waterhole though, I think the added weight of recent times plus completely sodden clothing completely did me over.  My legs didn't want to do what they were doing before and I never felt like running at that kind of pace again.

As with the last mud-run, I seemed to be better on the flat hard stuff, and rubbish on the squidgy stuff.  I'm sure there's a euphemism there.  A friend of a friend started catching me up, only for me to move away from her, and that repeated for a while before we just basically stayed together - including on one particularly nasty hill, that I completely failed at getting up, only to be helped by Super Mario and an Oompa Loompa.  Yes, I really did just type that.  No, I don't know where Luigi was.

That was, until 8km in when I dropped back.  For the first time since I've started running, I had the feeling diabetics hate, when you know you've run out of sugar.  Before the race, I'd forgotten part of my usual routine and missed an energy gel - I guess it's more important that I thought it was!  Somehow I muddled through the final water hole, urged on by others, including a fellow diabetic.  Somehow I made it to the finish line - where a friend luckily was on hand with a box of raisins!  The little things.

A flapjack later and I was back at the car and all was well.  I'd finished 50th from the end, and 25 minutes quicker than my last mud run.  I think it was a little easier a course, but I'll take whatever positives I can!

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PS Having now finished the blog, I've now found where Blogger DOES save articles!  Oh well, sod it - here we are now! Back soon.